Part 4: Does healing ever end?
Many people going through spiritual or psychological transformation wonder if there is an end point to healing, and if so, when do you reach that point?
The answer depends on how we define healing. If healing means realizing and accepting your connection to the divinity and love within, then it is indeed a defined point that can be arrived at – or more accurately, allowed. Similarly, if healing means being in a harmonious relationship with your reality, it is absolutely possible to get to that position.
At the same time, we are beings of free will; in other words, any experience or state that we create for ourselves can be recreated or uncreated in the next moment. If we want to live in a state of high frequency, we do need to continue to choose high frequency states. As long as you live in a biological body and amongst other humans, the alignment with your soul and the alchemizing of experiences into wisdom will be a continuous practise. Re-alignment doesn’t end just because one is enlightened. Just like the house doesn’t clean itself simply because you are self-realized, so your emotional self needs some attention, self-care, and maintenance to stay balanced.
What then is the difference between a person who is realized versus a person who isn’t yet? A self-realized being will remember that they are divine, even if the house is messy and even while they are an emotional mess themselves.
To answer the question, then, I would say: while there is an end point to integrating wounds, expansion never stops.
While there is an end point to integrating wounds, expansion never stops.
There is a point in time where the effects of trauma no longer affect you, where you no longer get triggered, and where suffering ends. Those points are not necessarily simultaneous; for example, you might still get triggered, without plunging into suffering.
To share a personal example, I used to suffer from various mental health issues, such as debilitating PTSD, anxiety and depression. While I still experience moments of feeling emotionally triggered, anxious, or having a low mood, I no longer experience it as suffering. Those moments are rare, and when they arise, I now approach them in a more relaxed and self-loving way. It’s like this: I still occasionally find myself in a dark room, but the darkness doesn’t scare me as much anymore, because I know about the other rooms in the house that are full of light, and I even know about the beautiful gardens outside the house. I also know that I’m not imprisoned in the dark room, but just visiting it for a short moment. It’s a difference in perspective.
You know that you have healed something when you can see it from a light and loving perspective.
It was through years of conscious breathing that I was able to integrate my traumatic experiences and psychological imbalances, and as a result, experience a real sense of safety and self-love again. While I still continue integrating and expanding, becoming more authentic and self-loving, I can honestly say that I have healed most of my emotional wounds.
Another interesting question is how healing relates to self-realization. I once believed that enlightenment means that a person is “fully integrated”. I’m starting to wonder now if full integration even is possible in the biological state. Perhaps it is, but I haven’t witnessed it yet. Every self-realized person that I have met has a deeply anchored self-awareness and self-love, and seems more at home within themselves than the vast majority of people. At the same time, every realized individual that I have met, still has a few un-integrated aspects within their consciousness.
These days I believe that some of the deepest imbalances are only healed after self-realization, because the darker the aspect, the more awareness and self-love is needed to feel safe enough to face this inner darkness, and thus integrate it.
Awakening and embodied enlightenment are riddled with paradoxes, as you might have noticed. And while every path “back home” is unique, I do believe that self-awareness and integration ultimately lead to a healed and whole state of wellbeing. In conclusions: it might not always be fun to face your demons and dragons, but it’s definitely worth the trouble. You never know what magnificent treasures might be uncovered in that darkness.